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Every sexual encounter has the potential to be a mind-blowing experience that leaves you dripping with sweat and your body quaking with pleasure. But, disappointing sex is still a common experience, so what gives? Eliminating the possibility of a medical condition that makes enjoying sex difficult or impossible, most of the time when someone reports having an unsatisfying or even boring sexual encounter the reason why is always the same: everyone involved wasn’t doing their part.

Great sex isn’t something that is done to you, it is an experience in which you must be fully involved and participating in order to benefit from. That means everyone involved needs to do their part to pleasure their partner and to guide their partner in giving them the greatest amount of pleasure possible. After all, you can’t expect your partner to read your mind which means that you need to tell them or show them what you like.

To give you an example of how you can be more involved and a better participant in having highly pleasurable sex, I’m going to share with you my number one sex tip for driving my man crazy and the single most erotic and pleasurable technique that he’s done to me. I hope these inspire you.

When going down on my man I like to take my time, focusing on the buildup and sustaining the pleasure rather than rushing straight to the happy ending. First, I’ll trail my fingers across his skin, skimming the most intimate places and cupping him gently yet firmly in my hands. Not enough to make him start moaning, but just enough to get him squirming and hard. Then I’ll put my lips over my teeth and gently nibble him along his entire shaft, teasing him and bringing him to full attention. My hands will continue to work along his skin, caressing, pulling, and stroking. Finally, I’ll bring my warm and moist mouth down upon him, taking him in and swirling my tongue about while I slowly engulf every last inch of him. Working back and forth, up and down, I’ll stop occasionally to focus my full attention on the tip, swirling my tongue about and sucking hard. Up and down, back and forth I go until finally I stop messing around and begin working his shaft with my hand, too, bringing him to a full body quivering conclusion.

What really makes me wet and bucking is when my man begins with some deliciously slow foreplay, taking his time to touch and caress my entire body. Slowly, his mouth and hands work their way across my body, leaving no part untouched, un-kissed. This increases my sensitivity and leaves me aching for him to go faster. But he doesn’t. Little by little he works his way across my skin until he finally reaches between my thighs. At this point I am begging for his touch, but he continues to go slowly, stroking me softly yet gradually increasing pressure. His mouth will surprise me as it his tongue joins in, sliding across my velvety smooth skin, drawing out breathy moans and sweet juices from me. Just when the heat building between my legs threatens to consume me, he’ll penetrate me, a sudden shock that throws me over the edge and leaves me bucking against him, my nails dragging across his back.

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